Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
