He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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