You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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