YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
