I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
