Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
