I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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