Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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