I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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