Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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