the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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