Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
