hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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