Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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