Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
