after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
