Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize