Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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