I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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