There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
