Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(716): View more from New York

i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

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(419): View more from Ohio

There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.

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(512): View more from Texas

They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?

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(616): View more from Michigan

She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.

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