We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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