did you get engaged???
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
