david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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