***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
