Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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