dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
