Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
