Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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