another moral hangover. fuck.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You dont lie about slip and slides
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
