So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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