I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't think brook has ever known best
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
