some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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