Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
