She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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