i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
