she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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