At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
