your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize