the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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