JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
