Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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