Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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