She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
