She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
