You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
