Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
