Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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