He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize