I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
