omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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