so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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