im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
