Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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