The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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