I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
