I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
