guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
