Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
