try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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