i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
