You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
