how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
