Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
