how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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