just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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